STI-ism (STIsm) - How checking your shit can create a more sex-positive community.

Today I would like to address the stigma that exists around Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s).

I feel like everyday I hear a new STI-ist phrase that states how “repulsive” and “disgusting” STI’s are or how “dirty” or “disgusting” individuals with STI’s are. But here, let me tell you the facts:

  • one in every five people has genital herpes (but 80% of these people don’t know they have it).
  • Approximately 80% of American adults have oral herpes (so, cold sores).
  • At least 1 in 4 people will catch an STI at some point in their life. 
  • Approximately two-thirds of the individuals with an STI are under the age of 25.

And there are loads more statistics and facts. But the point here is that STI’s are  common. In fact, they are clearly extremely common. And this whole notion that STI’s are “gross” I feel stems from the very sex-negative stance that society holds.

Think about it: people have sex. And people should have sex if they want to, as much of it as they’d like and with as many people as they’d like, as long as it’s consensual. And sometimes one of the outcomes of sex (besides great orgasms, and beautiful forearm muscles) is an STI. and it’s not gross, nor is it the end of one’s sex life.

Now, why are these two statements often the first things that come to our minds when thinking about or discussing STI’s ? Well, I’ll tell you what I think: 1) people are douche-bags 2) people are uneducated 3) we live in a sex-negative society 4) The kind of sex-education we do receive tells us that getting an STI is one of the worst things that could happen to us when engaging in sexual activity. In fact, that and the possibility of pregnancy are really the only two things that are covered in good sex-education. It’s not pleasure based at all, but instead just informs us of the potential dangers or harms of sex.

But this is what needs to be pointed out, again: STI’s are not, I repeat, are not the worst things that could happen to you during sexual activity. Most of them really aren’t even that bad. At most I would call them (some, certainly not all) a nuisance, similar to that of a shitty flu. They are something we can catch when we are particularly close to other people. Also, in case everyone has forgotten (which it seems they have) STI’s are treatable. There is medication that exists for every STI to either remedy the STI, or at the very least manage the symptoms of an STI.

Furthermore, individuals who have STI’s obviously still have sex, and great sex at that. I believe that with every sexual partner it’s very important to be open and honest about your sexual history, what you want out of this particular sexual engagement, and your sexual health (which is not to imply that having an STI makes one unhealthy, because it doesn’t). After this it is up to each individual involved if and how they would like to have sex with one another. There are obviously safe-sex practices that can be employed and should be considered regardless of one’s sexual health status. Like I said, an STI is not the end of one’s sex life and I believe that they also shouldn’t be the deciding factor for whether or not you should have sex with someone because that, my friends, is a frame of mind that is buying into the fear mongering mind set of sex negativity.

STI’s do not make a person. They do not change a person, nor do they affect how great (or not so great) someone is in bed. They are a normal part of life. And SO MANY PEOPLE have them. So next time you go to make an STI-ist remark, consider this: you may have an STI and not know about it (or you may unknowingly get one in the future), the people around you may have an STI, your sibling may have an STI, your parents may have an STI, your friends or partner may have an STI (and likely some of them do). The comments you make hurt people.

This shouldn’t be such a taboo subject, especially when so many people have first hand experience with STI’s. There needs to exist acceptance and recognition that individuals who have STI’s have sexual validity and there also needs to exist positive dialogue around the subject of STI’s where it is repeatedly stated that a high percentage of individuals will get an STI at some point in their life, and in no way does this make them “dirty” or less sexually desirable.

To all of you out there who are now conscious of the STI-ist remarks that you may be saying, check your shit and get educated. And while you’re at it, educate the people around you, so that slowly we can create a more accepting, inclusive, and sex-positive community.

Notes

  1. starcity reblogged this from lips-richmond
  2. lips-richmond reblogged this from princessotto
  3. kaptainkaister reblogged this from princessotto and added:
    This is so good. Read it!
  4. princessotto reblogged this from doilydyke
  5. doilydyke reblogged this from callmebrandy and added:
    reposting because people need to be reminded!
  6. antithestasia reblogged this from diddlebot
  7. organized-shorts reblogged this from noonesstigma and added:
    I think I’ve reblogged this before…
  8. noonesstigma reblogged this from callmebrandy
  9. digitalmeowmix reblogged this from ihavealotoffeelings
  10. jumpmamajump reblogged this from callmebrandy
  11. emilyyhaash reblogged this from callmebrandy
  12. butchinthesouth reblogged this from callmebrandy
  13. coeurdesfeuilles reblogged this from callmebrandy and added:
    STIs needs to disappear. People who have STIs...not disgusting just because
  14. whatsnuwithju reblogged this from likeawraith and added:
    Fuck Yes. The stigma around STIs pisses me off to no end
  15. followfreeman reblogged this from likeawraith
  16. diddlebot reblogged this from real-mean-archive and added:
    Forever this. Also, it’s more than okay to use barriers, folks! Nothing is perfect but it helps.
  17. heckieclaire reblogged this from likeawraith and added:
    wow, this is something to think about. i dont know if everything is true, but there are plenty of good points, whether...
  18. accidentally-on-purpose reblogged this from real-mean-archive and added:
    Always reblog. Informative. Read this, folks.
  19. sexualassumptions reblogged this from real-mean-archive
  20. real-mean-archive reblogged this from desire4destruction
  21. sorceryandsocrates reblogged this from desire4destruction
  22. pluckyminna reblogged this from chloehasalotoffeelings
  23. relaunchrewind reblogged this from radicallane
  24. ihavealotoffeelings reblogged this from chloehasalotoffeelings and added:
    “STI-ist”? Really? Really? I also agree that we shouldn’t be assholes to people who have STIs, but I’m pretty sure my...
  25. sengis reblogged this from callmebrandy and added:
    Wow this is kinda….silly I guess. Hi, I’m someone who was diagnosed with cervical HPV a few years ago, the kind that’s...